Saturday, December 29, 2012

My Thoughts on Dating...

This is such a hard post to write, because dating is such a tough subject in today's world. So many girls think that they have to have a boyfriend to be cool. Fortunately, I decided a long time ago that I do not want to be what the world considers "cool." So many girls think that it is a bad thing to be single, because the world is telling them that it means no one loves them, so they date a guy that really doesn't love them anyway. They compromise their standards in order for someone to like them, and they usually end up getting hurt.

My parents did not allow me to have a boyfriend until I turned 16, go figure we moved to Guatemala nine days after that where I knew no one.

I'm not gonna lie, there were times when I hated that rule. Now I am so thankful for it. It gave me an excuse to not have to worry about if a boy liked me, and instead find my worth in God. I got to spend my time finding my talents, getting good grades, and growing my faith. The rule that I hated so much, truly made me what I am today. I honestly believe that if my parents had let me date any boy that said I was cute, I wouldn't be doing what I am now. I wouldn't know that I love to write and speak Spanish. I wouldn't know that my passion is for the least of these, because I would have spent all of my time talking to some boy, instead of figuring out who I am, and how God can use me.

As Christians, our relationships are held by a higher standard- God's. When we promise our heart to God, we have to trust Him to guard it. We also need to remember that not only do our parents have rules for our relationships, so does God. His rules are so clear when we read our bible, but sadly, many people today look at His word as guidelines, rather than the commands that they are. God has these rules for a reason, as did my parents. Its because they know whats best for us. And while there may be times when you don't like the rules, one day you are going to appreciate them.

Because one day when you stand at the alter with the man that God hand chose especially for you, a man that puts Jesus before anything- you will know that he was worth the wait. 


  1. Love your blog!!! This post is great and I completely agree! Same rules for me, except I've chosen not to date in high school.

    With gossip and drama, I already have realized that it would be so much pressure. God truly is in control of who that special guy is. We just have to get ourselves out of his position sometimes.

    You are a great writer!

  2. You are wise beyond your years, Addisyn! I wish I had spent time figuring out who I was and how God could use me instead of dating. It was such a waste. Thank you for being a woman of conviction to a watching world. I wish I had had a friend like you when I was in high school.

  3. What I hope is that even as you grow older, you keep this attitude. It's a wonderful attitude to have about dating. I have found that--at the age of 27--I sometimes enter relationships wondering if this is "the one" and stay in the wrong relationships because "maybe this is the guy God has for me. Maybe it will work out if we just keep working at it." Us older folk start despairing. ;) Thanks for the reality check.

  4. Hi Addisyn! So you don't know me but I have heard sooooo much about you and after reading your blog today I know why! I'm Grayson Evans, and up until last March, I lived in Antigua as a missionary with my family. Girl, let me just tell you how inspiring your heart for the people of Guatemala is! As I read, my eyes filled with tears because I know how much faith it takes to minister to the people there. Countless times I have wished that I could do it all over, it's so refreshing to hear from someone (especially another teenager) who is just going for it and trusting God for the results! Wow.
    Well, sorry if this is totally confusing- I was just so blown away by God through you this morning that I wanted to share it! Way to go girl!
    Blessings :)

  5. Thank you for writing this!! There needs to be way more teenage girls like you and me writing this. You have courage, my friend, a heart after our King's. Keep on loving Jesus, sister, and thank you for this encouragement!!
    Mattie Patterson

  6. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I have two younger sisters currently struggling with this subject. It's hard for me, at times, to be understanding of their perceived need for a boyfriend. (they are 12 and 9... yes 9) My parents never needed to give me an age for when they would allow me to date because I never really got to the point where I wanted to have a boyfriend. I'd entertain the thought here and there, but never very seriously. Because of my not struggling against my parents viewpoint on dating and future marriage, my sisters think I just don't understand. If God leads, I might read this post to them and see if it means more since you understand not liking your parents rule at an earlier age.

  7. If you only knew how much i miss you and your heart; I say I, only because, I know how much you are needed at PBC youth. Times have changed, things have changed, Gabby jumped ship (long story) bottom line is, I know your are making a huge difference in Guatemala and I know God has His purpose in you, but i also know we need your kind of leadership in a big way. And as much as i try to get us back on track, there is always something halting progress. I HOPE you never get tired of me telling you how happy i am that you are happy doing God's work and that it was a privilege to have met you and your folks. Ps. funny that you mentioned "The Least of These" I have stared a fund raise campaign for Gabby and I, its named "Loving the Least of These" Matthew 25:40 we are very exited as always and pray-fully God will see us going soon. Great blog makes perfect sense to me.

  8. Addisyn,
    You have such wisdom and grace for your years. I can only hope and pray that my children will have your attitude when they someday are teens.

  9. As a parent of pre-teens, this is delightful, yet shocking to read! My husband and I were both raised in families that placed no limit on dating, etc. It's so hard for me to know what 'cultural norms' to accept as normal, and where to be counter-cultural. I'm curious how this limitation actually worked? Were you tempted to be dishonest? Did they impost limits on communication if you were interested in someone? Did you have to tell boys that your parents wouldn't let you have a boyfriend?

    In addition to this limit, what did your parents do that helped you not fight against it? Anything specific that helped you understand your worth apart from having a boyfriend?

  10. Addisyn,

    This post touches my heart deeply as a mother of 5. My oldest daughter is only 11, but she is already getting pressure from her friends to say "yes" to a boy that wants to "date" her. I am not sure what that is all about at 11. Thankfully, she has no interest. We are so blessed by her heart that deeply desires to love God first and not even think about boys. Neither my husband nor I were allowed to date until we were 16 and I am so thankful for the boundaries that our parents had for us. To be honest, I wish it was more like 18 because I didn't always make the best guy choices, but u live and u learn…. My prayer is that all of my children will desire to know and love God first and foremost in their lives before they even desire to date. You are truly an inspiring young woman whose posts have touched my heart deeply. Thank u for serving our King with all of your heart and loving Him above all else; it's so refreshing and pure. I don't even know u and I love to pieces. xox