Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Let us not grow weary...

Sometimes we have so much going on around here that I don't even have time to take it all in. We work so hard to get things done and meet all the needs around us, that I just don't have time to process everything that has happened. Most nights I fall into bed completely exhausted, begging God to give me the energy that it takes to keep going.

Because I don't process, I've gotten pretty good at putting up walls. Sometimes I feel like its much easier to not get attached rather than to have your heart broken again and again when you have to say goodbye to another team,

or the man you poured so much into falls back into addiction,

or the children you love so much continue to go to bed hungry and dirty.

 Its hard.

I think that sometimes it gets to be such a heavy burden that just blocking it out or becoming numb to all of the hurt around me doesn't sound like such a bad idea. It seems easier to just close my eyes and pretend bad things don't happen, but I don't think that's what God wants.

Proverbs 24:12 tells us, "Once our eyes are opened we cannot pretend we do not know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls knows we know and holds us responsible to act."

 God tells us that we can't ignore what we know is true. We can't pretend it doesn't exist, because He is holding us responsible to do something about the need, even when we feel weary and worn.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." -Galatians 6:9

God never meant for this world to be easy. He meant for our hearts to be broken over and over again, just like His is. He doesn't want for us to hide behind walls, but instead tear them down. I think He wants us to give all that we have, so that he can continue to fill us with more of Him. What good is it for Him to fill us, if we are never empty?

Its not an easy thing to do, but most times when we have absolutely nothing left, that is when God is most glorified. God works through our struggles and our brokenness. So I continue to fight for what I know is right. I will keep pouring out the love that comes from Him, clinging to His promises and refusing to give up, because He is worth it.


  1. Your post really resonates with this Momma's heart. He's been pouring in something NEW into me. Preparing me. It all came after I gave out everything I had - including my own plans for the future. His way is so much better!! Isn't it great that we can trust our Father to FILL us?? I'm so grateful!

  2. I am so happy you are on your way to getting a sledge hammer. We learn so much more from our failures and heart aches than in a play it safe world. In my field i have seen the worst of people and in the worst of their times. And the more i tried in the beginning not to get attached to my patients, the colder i got. I came to the realization getting involved even if it meant some pain, made me work harder to become more prepared. They went form a stranger to someones dad or mom, some ones child, a grand dad with lots of family, they became the people that God put in my path for His purpose and glory and in every one individual an opportunity to become His image, His feet, His hands, His voice. Our hearts will be broken and have been broken but in that pain I feel my Father telling me "I will never leave our or forsake you" Ok this is you blog so i'll stop before i write too much. I pray you will experience the joy of a broken heart for every scar is a reminder where we been, the victories and defeats of our time here on earth. If i could get a nickel for every broken heat; i could afford to go to Guatemala every weekend for the rest of my life. always a text away. I love you all.

  3. Just read your blog, Addisyn! It was a pleasure getting to know you a couple weeks ago. You are an AMAZING young woman and it is exciting to see how God is using you! We look forward to seeing you again in the future.

  4. You are Beautiful!
    Continue to set your heart daily on Jesus, He will guide you through.
    5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
    6 in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.
    Proverbs 3:5-6

  5. The two verses speak to my heart and my mind as I have wondered if I should just stop trying to make a difference. I can't. I won't. Thank you for sharing truth and hope in your post.

  6. Such insightful words from a heart that has clearly been broken for what breaks our Father's heart. I am thankful for the courage He is giving you to daily be poured out for the sake of the Kingdom. Though I've never met your family I have marveled often at how God is at work in you and through you. What a marvelous testimony of His abundant grace you are!

  7. Such insightful words from a heart that has clearly been broken for the things that break our Father's heart. I am thankful for the courage and daily strength He is giving you. Though I've never met your family I have often marveled at the work God is doing in and through you. You are a testimony to His abundant grace! Thank you for sharing your heart.

  8. Well we have 7 people in the family. So we have to act how we want them to act. And it hard to give them back but I know that its for there own good.- brianna10 years ol