Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Let us not grow weary...
Sometimes we have so much going on around here that I don't even have time to take it all in. We work so hard to get things done and meet all the needs around us, that I just don't have time to process everything that has happened. Most nights I fall into bed completely exhausted, begging God to give me the energy that it takes to keep going.
Because I don't process, I've gotten pretty good at putting up walls. Sometimes I feel like its much easier to not get attached rather than to have your heart broken again and again when you have to say goodbye to another team,
or the man you poured so much into falls back into addiction,
or the children you love so much continue to go to bed hungry and dirty.
I think that sometimes it gets to be such a heavy burden that just blocking it out or becoming numb to all of the hurt around me doesn't sound like such a bad idea. It seems easier to just close my eyes and pretend bad things don't happen, but I don't think that's what God wants.
Proverbs 24:12 tells us, "Once our eyes are opened we cannot pretend we do not know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls knows we know and holds us responsible to act."
God tells us that we can't ignore what we know is true. We can't pretend it doesn't exist, because He is holding us responsible to do something about the need, even when we feel weary and worn.
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." -Galatians 6:9
God never meant for this world to be easy. He meant for our hearts to be broken over and over again, just like His is. He doesn't want for us to hide behind walls, but instead tear them down. I think He wants us to give all that we have, so that he can continue to fill us with more of Him. What good is it for Him to fill us, if we are never empty?
Its not an easy thing to do, but most times when we have absolutely nothing left, that is when God is most glorified. God works through our struggles and our brokenness. So I continue to fight for what I know is right. I will keep pouring out the love that comes from Him, clinging to His promises and refusing to give up, because He is worth it.